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14 Oct What’s Wrong With Our Communication?
“We need to work on our communication skills.” “We have a communication problem.” “We need to fix our communication.”
As an expert at the intersection of people/organizations and communication for over 20 years, I have heard these comments many times.
But what does it mean to solve communication problems, or to make the communication in your company “better”? To share information about a major change successfully? To manage that one employee who can’t get along with anyone else? Or to tell your direct report that they need to improve on something, clearly, without creating drama or overinflating their ego? OR, the big one…to tell your BOSS that they are treating everyone badly and it needs to change.
Do you need to talk louder…give more data…give less data…smile more…smile less…use Zoom instead of TEAMS….??? Communicate immediately or wait 24 hours? Use a compliment “sandwich”? The answer is IT DEPENDS on many factors, including the company culture, the relationship, the history of interactions, other employees, and more.
All communication problems require executives to communicate clearly, confidently, and persuasively. The nuance needed to tackle communication challenges specific to your situation is what an Executive Communication Coach brings to the table. Whether it is performance reviews, leading through change, answering difficult questions, and/or managing difficult bosses and direct reports, we help clients with these challenges and more.
What communication challenges do you have? I invite you to share any communication challenges you are experiencing. I’d love to put my 20 years of experience to work helping you feel better and have better experiences at work through communication.
29 Sep The Terrain Informs the Technique
In executive coaching, you hear a lot of singular techniques — one framework, one mindset, one magic fix that’s supposed to solve everything.
In reality, even the best techniques only work when they adapt to the terrain. The central lesson is simple: knowing not just what to do, but when and why to do it. It’s the difference between approach and technique, strategy and tactic.
When I run in the mountains, I shorten my stride whether I’m going uphill or downhill, but for entirely different reasons. That wasn’t instinctive. My natural impulse was to lengthen my stride to power up the hill or charge downhill. It takes intentional practice to rewire your brain for make-or-break moments.
On the climb, shortening my stride conserves energy. It keeps my form efficient, steady, and sustainable. Each step is deliberate, measured, and meant to carry me farther without burning out too soon.
On the descent, I shorten my stride again, but now it’s about precision and agility. The pace quickens, my attention sharpens, and I’m focused on control, not conservation. Same technique. Different terrain. Different purpose. That’s the essence of high-level executive communication.
A single skill can lead to multiple deliveries and outcomes, depending on where you are and what you’re navigating:
Pausing might signal confidence in one conversation and compassion in another.
Simplifying your language might make you relatable in a town hall but authoritative in a board meeting.
Framing with “why” might inspire your team, while the same technique helps justify the strategy to investors.
The terrain informs the technique. That is the central truth: mastery lies not in repeating the same move, but in reading the terrain and adjusting with intent. In leadership, as on the trail, success depends on knowing the terrain and adapting your approach and technique.
15 Sep How Important Is That Impression to Meeting Your Goal?
How often do you think about your goal when you prepare for a high-stakes interaction? Is selling your company or product the goal? Are you looking to connect with potential partners or purchasers? Are you looking to build your personal brand and move upward in your career? Do you want to become a thought leader? Are you hoping to raise visibility for your company? Do you want to educate people about what your product can do?
Communication opportunities afford a chance to make an impression – to BE IMPRESSIVE.
Think conference appearances, podcasts, board updates, investor discussions. These are moments you can make strides toward your goal if your communication is on point, and conversely you can dig yourself a hole if you seem nervous, untrustworthy, or disingenuous.
Regardless of what form it takes, each appearance you make is an opportunity to make an important, positive impression on a variety of people who may see and hear you. What you say and do and HOW you say and do it are crucial to achieving your goal.
As an Executive Communication Coach, I help clients maximize their opportunities by working with them to speak clearly and confidently when it matters most. For some, this means helping release nerves they have been managing for years; for others, it means helping to think through how to engage a specific group of listeners effectively.
Let’s talk about how you can be impressive when you make an appearance to support achieving your ultimate goal. Then, let’s make it happen!
2 Sep Don’t Tell People What They Want to Hear
One of the quickest ways for a leader to lose credibility is to start telling people what they want to hear.
It usually begins with good intentions. You sense what someone values. You notice what they want the answer to be. And you shape the message to match it.
In the moment, it can feel persuasive. But it isn’t persuasion. It’s manipulation.
Real persuasion works differently. It doesn’t tell people what they want to hear. It helps them hear what they need to hear in order to move forward.
And that requires understanding how people are persuaded in the first place.
Different People Are Persuaded by Different Things
In almost every leadership conversation, you’ll find listeners who instinctively lean toward one of three persuasive anchors:
Ethos
Can we trust the judgment behind this?
These listeners are persuaded by credibility, experience, and demonstrated understanding. They want to know the person speaking has the perspective and authority to guide the situation.
Pathos
Does this feel right for us?
These listeners are persuaded by meaning, values, and the human stakes involved. They want to understand how the decision aligns with purpose, culture, and the impact on people.
Logos
Does this actually make sense?
These listeners are persuaded by reasoning, evidence, and structure. They want to see the logic and the plan before they commit.
In almost every executive conversation, different listeners will place different weight on all three. Which means the leader’s job is not to choose one persuasive mode; it’s to understand how each participant enters the conversation.
The Manipulation Shortcut
Once you recognize what persuades someone, there’s a tempting shortcut. You tell the Ethos person what validates their authority. You tell the Pathos person what affirms their values. You tell the Logos person the logic they already want to believe.
In other words, you mirror their preference. You tell them what they want to hear. And in the short term, that can win agreement. But it doesn’t create alignment.
The message isn’t anchored in reality. It’s anchored in appeasement.
The Persuasion Standard
Real influence requires a different discipline.
Instead of telling people what they want to hear, leaders use Ethos, Pathos, and Logos to help people hear what they need to hear.
Establish Ethos so listeners trust the judgment behind the message. Engage Pathos so listeners understand why the stakes matter. Deliver Logos so listeners can clearly see the reasoning and the path forward.
Each mode becomes a doorway for a different kind of listener, but they all lead to the same place: Clarity, Alignment, Action.
The Leadership Discipline
The discipline of executive communication isn’t learning how to say the right thing to each person. It’s learning how to anchor different listeners in the same truth.
Some will enter through credibility. Some through meaning. Some through logic. Your responsibility as a leader is to make sure the message reaches them.
Not because it’s what they wanted to hear, but because it’s what they needed to hear in order to move forward.
24 Aug How Well Do You Communicate? A Self-Assessment
How well do you communicate? For a brief self-assessment, ask yourself the following questions (and be honest!):
- Do you get along with all your coworkers, your boss, your direct reports? Is it easy to talk to them?
- Are you successful in working with any “challenging” coworkers (we all have one!)?
- Does everyone understand what you mean the first time?
- If you use AI to generate content, does following an AI script work well in conversation?
- Are you able to influence the people you need to influence successfully (your boss, your direct reports)?
- Do you look, feel, and sound amazing when you speak about your business in public?
If you answered NO to any of these, do you know why? More importantly, do you have any ideas for how to do better?
If you don’t, you might consider working with a Communication Coach, just like you would work with a coach to improve your weight-lifting form or your golf swing.
If you’re not sure exactly what a good Communication Coach does, here is a brief introduction:
- They identify your existing communication strengths and areas needing development.
- They provide opportunities for practice in whatever setting you will be communicating (e.g., conferences, board meetings, investor discussions, media appearances, and more).
- They ensure clear and confident communication of facts – handling questions, persuasive arguments, dealing with difficult situations, and more.
I invite you to have a conversation with me. That conversation may be just what is needed to develop the skills so that you will answer the questions above confidently in the affirmative.
6 Jul More Speak with Confidence Tips
Tip: #1 Do you or someone you know struggle with ADHD and find it difficult to explain how or why you have done something?As an Executive Communication Coach, I have noticed more and more clients sharing their struggles with ADHD. Often, this can lead to not receiving credit for their work or having a hard time explaining to others how to replicate their process.
If you resonate with this, try using a pen-and-paper mind map or audio recording app to capture your thought process in real-time. This can be a game-changer for those who struggle with the traditional method of writing updetailed plans or processes. Remember back in math class when you had to “show your work”? It may have been infuriating at the time, but it can be a helpful reminder to document your process for future reference. ADHD people bring innovative strategies to the workplace (awesome!), but you can’t expect others to think the exact same way you do.
As coaches, we deeply respect and provide confidentiality regarding any communication challenges, so don’t hesitate to share any struggles or concerns with us. Let’s work together to help you communicate with confidence and ease!
Tip #2: Use Reflective Listening. Listening is critical in both personal and professional settings, yet it remains an elusive skill. However, cultivating deep listening skills can give you a superpower with colleagues, job interviews, direct reports, and even family and friends. In our workshops, we teach a technique called Reflective Listening, which helps the speaker feel heard and understood. (There are always lots of laughs and personal stories in these breakouts, aka venting, about when people don’tlisten to us, from kids to dogs to spouses to direct reports!)
To practice Reflective Listening, start with a transition phrase like “I hear you saying…” or “From your perspective…” and then add verbatim or connect the dots to show that you’re truly listening, e.g.,” From your perspective, we need to have performance reviews monthly, not yearly.” This technique can improve communication in any scenario, from job interviews to family conversations.
If are interested in exploring advanced communication skills, save this post and tag a colleague who might want to practice with you. And if you think your team could benefit from this superpower, let us know. Our clients have found success in offsite events that build morale, team building, and communication skills. Over the next few months, I’ll be coaching in Boston, Los Angeles, and Toronto for client programs. Let us be part of your event to master updated communication skills!
Tip #3: Don’t get ambushed!Have you ever been put on the spot and didn’t know how to respond?
A C-level executive recently shared a frustrating experience she had during a group meeting with an outsider. While preparing for a Management Presentation, the banker put up a revised slide deck she hadn’t seen before and asked her to talk through a few specific slides. Feeling flustered, she stumbled through a response and later regretted how she handled the situation.
But what if there was a way to prevent this from happening? If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, try using this response: “Great, let’s take a look at this updated deck. Since this is the first time I’m seeing it, talk me through what we’re looking at and the type of feedback that would be most helpful to you.”
By taking a moment to process the information and respond in a helpful, brief, and polished manner, you can avoid being ambushed and stand up for yourself. Remember, only you can control how you respond in these types of situations. Confidence is key!
Tip: #4 Aim for the no-look pass in team presentations.Passing the ball back and forth smoothly, gracefully, and with ease is critical to any successful team game. And, it’s also crucial for team presentations.
In fact, one of my favorite sports moves – the no-look pass – can be a valuable technique for team presentations. Whether planned or spontaneous, passing the ball around (aka the content) can keep the listeners engaged and prevent one person from monopolizing the spotlight.
Remember to aim for that no-look pass next time you’re presenting as a team. Making team presentations look easy and conversational takes work!
Tip: #5 Three quick tips on Management Presentations. Preparing for (and surviving) Management Presentations can be one of the most difficult situations as a speaker. (Management Presentations are typical when a company is preparing to sell. They are often four hours long with a 50-page deck)
Recently, our team was brought in to help two companies prepare the leadership team for Management Presentations. Both teams performed exceptionally well, with one company having all nine potential buyers wanting follow-up meetings. Impressive!
Recently, I’ve spent time in Chicago and Boston for these clients and helped them with messaging, speaker style, brevity, clarity, and managing nerves.
Here are three quick tips to help you thrive in these fast-paced, all-hands-on-deck situations:
1. When in doubt, leave it out. If someone wants to know more, they will ask.
2. Be more succinct and specific. Use brevity in stories and answers. You must make your point quickly and then STOP TALKING unless you want the presentation to go from 4 to 6 hours.
3. Be conversational. On occasion, talk about your kids or how you personally look at the situation. Avoid getting right into the micro of the market growing at 7%, etc. The more conversational you are, the more you come across as a comfortable, dynamic C-level asset.
1 Jul Eight Moments That Got Big Laughs at 2026 Annual Investor Meetings
Welcome to my second annual blog on the best use of humor at global annual meetings across investment, private equity, and financial services. (For the first blog from 2025, click below)
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/eight-moments-got-big-laughs-annual-investor-meeting-sjrme/
As always, I spent most of May with some trusted colleagues, helping with speaker coaching for their annual investor meetings. After the coaching, whether for solo presenters, pairs, or business‑unit groups, we’re often onsite for the dry run and the event itself, timing each talk and capturing specific feedback for every speaker.
Even though most AGM speakers I meet with have been presenting for many years, even decades, the most impressive presenters are the ones still looking for feedback on small ways to add polish or impact.
What gets a room of smart investors- people who attend hundreds of meetings a year- to laugh?
Luckily, it’s not stand‑up comedy, telling a joke, or something random you found on the internet. I’ve done the analysis for you below to break down what gets a laugh and why. Use these ideas to add levity to your next update or presentation.
Here are eight of the best laugh‑out‑loud moments I witnessed at various 2026 AGMs. Details have been changed for client confidentiality, but the heart of each example is exactly what got the big laughs.
1. The callback to history
A leader opened by joking, “I presented this same slide to Jack more than a decade ago.”Why it works: shared history + institutional memory + self‑awareness + everyone loves a joke about slide decks.
2. The unexpected confession
A highly accomplished industry expert admitted he would never have predicted this career path given his poor grades. The room loved it.
In another segment, a speaker asked a difficult question and said, “So what’s the answer? (pause…) Well, even I had to ask Claude.”Why it works: competence + humility is an extremely likable combination.
3. Admiration disguised as teasing
“I was hoping she wouldn’t be at this meeting today.” Translation: this person is terrifyingly smart or a high performer, so we can joke that we don’t want her around while we’re presenting. Why it works: it gives a colleague public credit without sounding overly fawning.
4. The oddly specific origin story
Not the same old vague “we built a great partnership,” but the strange little story about where it actually started: “Tampa lightning storms, three delayed flights, a random introduction over $47 airport burgers…”Why it works:specificity makes people smile and remember.
5. The elephant in the room
“I’m aware we’re a bit behind schedule, and also that I’m the only thing standing between you and lunch.”
If the room is freezing, everyone knows. If lunch is late, you can feel the fidgeting. If your session title sounds like a doctoral dissertation, everyone is worried it will be dry. Why it works: a quick acknowledgment creates an instant connection.
6. The ‘we’ve all done this’ moment
“I was told by one highly esteemed CEO back in 2023 that ‘AI will always be completely unfit for professional use.’”
We laugh at outdated attitudes (smoking on airplanes?!), at how wrong we were about a deal, or at universally embarrassing human behavior. Why it works: shared recognition builds immediate trust.
7. The visual surprise
Unexpected old photos. A bingo card of impossible tasks. A before‑and‑after video. Rooms are visually starved, and most slides read like awful eye charts. Why it works: a smart image, video segment, or physical item immediately changes the energy.
8. The rule of three
This works because rhythm is effective, and using three items is effective in many settings.
“I didn’t want to pay airport coffee prices. I didn’t want another 4 AM alarm. And I definitely didn’t want to be the final speaker of the day.”
Why it works: catchy structure + acknowledging we’re all tired + unexpected confession = laugh opportunity.
I could have easily added more, but it’s a good challenge to stick to eight observations. Humor in senior rooms is rarely about “being funny” or telling jokes. We want to hear about your fears, missteps, inner dialogue, thought process, challenges, and failures. We want to be surprised. We want to learn. We want to feel connected.
If you can add humor successfully as a presenter, you’ve tapped into the thrill of true human connection. Give some of these a try and let me know how it goes.
26 May Save Time and Money with Better Communication
I’m sitting in a meeting, internally rolling my eyes, because “Chad” has hijacked it again. At this point, his voice is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me, as he repeats the same tired axe that he always grinds. This meeting isn’t even about what he’s talking about! And I can’t help noticing that he’s wrong about some of the things he’s saying. I choose not to engage because I’ve learned from past attempts that it’s better to just sit through it than try to correct him and start an argument.
Have you ever worked with someone like this? Poor communicators such as “Chad” actively waste time and money due to their ineffective communication.
Effective communicationinvolves many skills, one of which is following the unwritten rules of communication. These rules are known as Grice’s Maxims, and they look like this:
Maxim of Quantity: Give as much information as required, but no more.
How it works: Avoids wasting the time of high-level decision makers. Keeps detail-oriented discussions at the right level of the organization.
What to do: Calibrate in advance on how much information the listener needs or wants to make a decision or move forward. Aim for less information when dealing with high-level decision makers.
Maxim of Quality: Try to be truthful and avoid giving false information.
How it works: Builds psychological safety and trust. Strengthens your credibility.
What to do: Do not “fake it till you make it.” Learn how to say “I don’t know” effectively.
Maxim of Relevance: Say things that are relevant to the current topic of conversation.
How it works: Keeps the meeting/conversation on task, allowing you to get things done.
What to do: Do not “hijack” the meeting/conversation with your own agenda. Use a “parking lot” for items that are not relevant now but need to be revisited later.
Maxim of Manner: Avoid ambiguity; be clear, brief, and orderly.
How it works: Eliminates confusion about what is meant in conversations and meetings.
What to do: Avoid jargon and “word salad.” Use plain English that everyone can understand. Plan ahead to organize your thoughts and how to say them.
The next time you’re glazing over while someone speaks at work or in a meeting, ask yourself: Is it the right amount? Is it truthful? Is it relevant? Is it clear? And then be a friend and share your feedback with the speaker at another time. Or send them to a good communication coach who can help them implement some changes! (I might know one.)
This is how you save time and money with communication—become more effective and help those around you do the same.
Bonus: It also saves you the pain of listening to the “Chads” of your office.
19 Mar The 5 Types of Talking You Do Every Day
Between human nature and the English language, there are so many nuances that it can often cause confusion or major conflict. Without putting on my Rhetorician’s hat, allow me to give a brief description of a few ways we interact verbally. This delineation will help you identify not only the type of talk you are engaged in but also whether it is productive. While a case can be made for each of these having a time and place for its value, the immediate value to you will be understanding whether that time is right for you.
There are 5 types of talking that humans regularly engage in. As we walk through each of them briefly, you will notice how confusing and similar they may sound. In some cases, understanding the subtle differences may be more than helpful. Legal implications may also be involved. At least, human misunderstandings can occur. These misunderstandings can cause major difficulties.
1) GOSSIP
This type of talk focuses on personal matters and opinions about others, events, or topics. Gossip is characterized by relying mainly on personal experience, observation, or hearsay, and can often be malicious. The key distinction is that Gossip usually lacks substantial supporting evidence and may be speculative or harmful. Leaders are often those with the most assertive speaking style or extreme opinions.
2) CONVERSATION
This type of talk can overlap with Gossip, but Conversation differs by focusing on more narrowly defined topics. Viewpoints tend to be supported by some relevant information, rather than rumor or hearsay. It is generally less speculative and more balanced.
Opinions in conversation are expressed less aggressively and more assertively, with participants generally taking turns listening and speaking. Unlike Gossip, Conversation maintains order and mutual participation. Leadership can shift based on who asks questions or who holds the floor.
3) DISCUSSION
Discussion is a more focused and directed interaction. Topics are typically planned, and participants agree on both subject and direction. The main difference from Conversation is that Discussion involves intention and structure, often with chosen or emerging leaders who guide the flow.
4) DEBATE
Debate is a highly structured verbal interaction with planned viewpoints, each supported by relevant evidence. It differs from Discussion by requiring arguments to be clearly defined and positions to be formally established.
A specific topic is selected and agreed upon in advance. Participants in the debate are identified by the positions they take. The intent of debate is to “produce light, not heat.” Leaders are chosen by agreement and enforce agreed-upon rules of time and decorum, without participating in the exchange.
5) ARGUMENT
This is the least structured type of talking. Participants follow no rules or behaviors. There are, of course, norms of behavior that emerge, however. Typically, it is vociferous, loud, aggressive, and disrespectful of another participant’s point of view. Opposite of a Debate, an argument typically produces“more heat than light.”Participants frequently talk over each other, showing little interest in others’ points of view. Leaders are identified as the most aggressive participants.
There are specific talking techniques that can be learned for participating in any of these types, and whatever your purpose or point of view may be. A good Speech Coach will be able to identify and advise on what will be most productive for you, no matter which type of talking you use during the day.